Love. It’s the word that lights up our favorite songs, the theme of every great rom-com, and the heartbeat of stories like Thor: Love and Thunder, where characters risk everything for those they cherish. Pop culture often paints love as the ultimate sacrifice—think of star-crossed lovers or heroes giving their all for a fleeting moment of connection. But what if love is more than that? What if it’s not just about what you give up, but about how you grow, together or alone? Drawing on ancient wisdom and my own reflections, let’s explore love as a journey toward a fuller, richer life—one that’s as much about becoming your best self as it is about holding someone close.
Love as Sacrifice: The Pop Culture Lens
In movies and books, love often looks like grand gestures. In Thor: Love and Thunder, we see characters facing mortality, choosing to spend their final moments with those they love or fighting for a chance to bring someone back. It’s a powerful image—love as the willingness to put someone else’s needs above your own, even at great cost. I’ve felt this in small ways, like staying up late to listen to a friend in tears or putting my partner’s dreams ahead of my own plans. There’s something beautiful about showing up for someone, no matter what it takes.
But is sacrifice the whole story? Pop culture loves drama, and while selflessness is part of love, it’s not the only part. I’ve seen friends burn out from giving too much in relationships, losing themselves in the process. Sacrifice without balance can leave you empty, and love should fill you up, not drain you. This is where ancient philosophers offer a fresh perspective, one that invites us to see love as a path to something deeper.
The Ancient Greek Dinner Party: A Tapestry of Love
Imagine being a guest at a lively dinner party in ancient Greece, surrounded by poets, comedians, and thinkers, all debating what love really means. This is the scene in Plato’s Symposium, a gathering where each speaker shares their take on love. It’s like sitting with friends over coffee, each of us trying to pin down that elusive feeling. The Greeks didn’t see love as a single thing but as a complex force, woven into the fabric of a life well-lived.
One speaker, Phaedrus, might resonate with our modern romantic ideals. He argued that love inspires courage, making us brave enough to face anything for the one we love. I think of my friend Mia, who moved across the country for her partner, not because it was easy, but because love gave her the strength to take the leap. Phaedrus would say that love pushes us to be our best, most heroic selves.
Pausanias, another guest, drew a line between two kinds of love: one rooted in physical attraction and another that honors the soul. The first is fleeting, like a crush that fades when the spark dims. The second is deeper, built on respect for who someone is—their quirks, their passions, their essence. I’ve felt this shift in my own relationship. Early on, it was all about chemistry, but over time, it’s become about admiring my partner’s kindness and the way they see the world. That’s the love that lasts.
The Myth of the Missing Half
Then there’s Aristophanes, the comedian, who spun a story that’s become a romantic classic. He said humans were once whole, round creatures with four arms and legs, split in two by the gods. Ever since, we’ve been searching for our other half to feel complete. It’s a beautiful idea, isn’t it? That somewhere out there is someone who fits you perfectly. I used to believe this when I was younger, chasing the idea of a soulmate who’d make everything click.
But life has taught me that love isn’t about finding someone to “complete” you. It’s about two people, whole on their own, choosing to build something together. My friend Sam found love after years of working on himself, healing old wounds, and learning to love who he is. When he met his partner, it wasn’t about filling a void but about sharing a life. Aristophanes’ myth captures the longing we feel, but it’s the choice to grow together that makes love real.
Love as a Universal Force
Eryximachus, the doctor at the Symposium, saw love as more than a human emotion—it’s a force that moves through everything, from plants to stars. He believed love brings harmony, balancing our lives and drawing us closer to others. I see this in the small moments: the way a friend’s hug can steady you after a rough day or how a shared laugh with your partner feels like the world aligning. Love, in this view, isn’t just romantic—it’s the connection that binds us to the world.
Agathon, the poet, added that love changes as we age, shifting from fiery passion to a quieter, practical bond. I’ve watched this in my parents’ marriage. They don’t have the same intensity they did in their 20s, but their love is in the routines—the way they share chores or tease each other over dinner. It’s a love that’s grown with them, adapting to life’s seasons.
Love as a Path to Wisdom
The philosopher Socrates, quoting his teacher Diotima, offered the most profound take: love is a journey toward something greater. It’s not just about the person you love but about the beauty and wisdom you discover together. Diotima saw love as a ladder, each step drawing you closer to a deeper understanding of life. I think of the moments when my partner and I talk about our dreams or challenge each other’s ideas. Those conversations don’t just strengthen our bond—they make us better people.
This view of love feels like a gift. It’s not about losing yourself in someone else or sacrificing everything for them. It’s about growing alongside them, exploring the world together, and sparking each other’s curiosity. I’ve had friendships like this, too, where a late-night talk about life’s big questions leaves me feeling more alive, more connected to what matters.
Love as a Practice of Virtue
What ties these ancient perspectives together is the idea that love is a practice, not just a feeling. The Greeks believed a good life—eudaimonia—is built on virtues like kindness, patience, and generosity. Love, whether romantic or not, asks us to embody these qualities. It’s in the way you forgive a partner’s mistake, listen to a friend’s fears, or show up for yourself on a hard day. Love is active, a choice you make every day.
I’ve learned this through trial and error. There were times I thought love meant holding on tightly, even when it hurt. But real love, I’ve found, is about giving space, trusting, and choosing connection over control. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Every time you choose love—with a partner, a friend, or yourself—you’re building a life that feels fuller, truer.
Your Love, Your Journey
So, what is love to you? Is it the thrill of a new romance, the steady comfort of a long-term bond, or the quiet strength of loving yourself? Maybe it’s all of these, woven together in a way that’s uniquely yours. The ancient Greeks remind us that love isn’t one thing—it’s a force that shapes us, challenges us, and helps us grow. It’s not just about sacrifice, though that can be part of it. It’s about becoming someone who loves with courage, kindness, and wisdom.
Take a moment to think about the love in your life. Who lifts you up? Who inspires you to be better? And how can you bring more love into the world, starting with yourself? Love is a journey, one that’s messy and beautiful and ever-changing. Embrace it, in all its forms, and let it guide you toward a life well-lived.
